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Inside Out |
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January 17, 2007 -- Volume 3, Issue 1 |
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A Message from Kim |
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Hi Everybody, I had intended to write this issue about the subject of appreciation and while I believe that is a worthwhile subject, I have had several instances in recent weeks where a lack of trust in business had become a big impediment to getting the job done. So, I have adjusted this month's issue to discussing the issue of trust. I know I spoke with you last month about our brand new Goal Attainment System but I want to do it again because I am so convinced that it is an incredibly powerful system. We are not simply providing you with a little information and a one-time goal setting session for the year. NO! We are providing just the right amount of support, encouragement, challenge and accountability necessary to accomplish your established goals for 2007. This is the system I have perfected over the last three years of studying some great goal setting and attainment gurus. I have synthesized all the information and put together an awesome system that will have you well on your way to realizing your goals. Please, check it out. Come to our free teleseminar on January 30th to learn about our 7-Step System and then, you can make an informed decision about whether our system will be right for you. There is absolutely no obligation and you will get to learn the seven steps of our system and keep our "Goal Setting Worksheets" just for attending the call. There's absolutely nothing to lose and everything to gain. I look forward to talking to you then. Make today the day you want it to be! |
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In This Issue |
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Feature Article Upcoming Events -- Frank Crane Book Review |
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Trust is a Choice In my recent consulting with several different companies, I have found a lack of trust at the root of many of their problems. Sometimes, the lack of trust is for other co-workers and other times it’s a lack of trust in the company or administration. We have been taught to believe trust is a commodity that is to be earned by others. Once they have passed certain tests, then we feel safe to extend our trust. I would like to entertain the idea that trust can be a verb, rather than a noun. It’s a choice you make and says much more about you than it does the person to whom you are extending your trust. When I posed the question to people, do you want to be able to trust your co-workers or administration, they all responded in the affirmative. They wanted to be able to trust but did not believe that others deserved it. This begged the question, “What would you have to give up in order to trust others?” There were a variety of answers to this question but the majority of them centered around the idea of self-protection. If you were to trust, then you would look foolish. If you were to trust, then you would be hurt again. If you were to trust, then you would somehow lose something if the other person disappointed you. I know there is an expression that goes something like this, “Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me,” however, I’m not sure I think subscribing to that belief system is helpful in the workplace. Because my model of Empowered Leadership is an Inside Out model, if you want more trust in your life, you have to be more trusting and more worthy of trust. You can’t get from others what you don’t possess in yourself. Let’s look closely at this trust issue and ask some difficult questions. If you are feeling the need to protect yourself somehow, why is that? What are you afraid of? What’s the worst thing that can happen? Will that really be so bad? If you are looking inside out, then you must ask yourself, “Am I a trustworthy person? Do others realize that I have integrity and can be trusted? Do I extend trust to others?” Now, of course, I am not talking about continuously putting yourself in situations with the same person who has proven a lack of trustworthiness. If you work with someone who attempted to pass off your work as his own, then you may be foolish to afford him another opportunity. However, is it possible for you to extend trust until someone proves he or she doesn’t deserve it, rather than starting with no trust until he or she jumps through the necessary hoops to earn your trust? It comes down to deciding what kind of person you want to be. Do you want to be a person who believes in the general good of humankind or do you want to be guarded, self-protective and suspicious? You get to decide how you want to operate in the world. Do not allow others to dictate this for you. Take charge and be the person you want to be. If you find yourself in a situation with someone where trust has become an issue, make it a priority to investigate the situation. Go to the person, ask for and really listen to his or her account of what occurred. It’s very possible that you don’t have all the accurate information. What I know is that there will only be limited teamwork or no teamwork at all without trust. If you are in an environment where you believe it is impossible to trust others, ask yourself if that is really where you want to be working. It may become necessary to reevaluate your employment decisions. But the bottom line is, if you want to trust those with whom you work, then do it. Figure it out. Extend your trust. If your trust is violated, then that says a whole lot more about the other person than you. If you understand Inside Out Thinking, you know that you can handle those situations because you don’t let other’s behavior shake your foundation. You know who you are and are solid in it. If you are in an organization where trust has become a big issue, it will likely take some time to heal the situation. However, one thing I know for sure is that it won’t get better without action. If you keep doing what you’ve always done, you will continue to get what you’ve always gotten. It’s time to make a change. What do you have to lose? Copyright © January 2007 Kim Olver. All rights reserved
NOTICE: This article is free and can be copied and reproduced |
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*Click Here or to read some of Kim's other articles* |
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Teleconferences All teleconferences are free, one (1) hour in length and all you need is a telephone. When you register we will send you a phone number that you will call five minutes prior to the start of your teleconference. You will have the opportunity to ask questions, but if you prefer to just listen that’s all right too. You do not need a computer or Internet, only a telephone. Don’t delay. There are a limited number of slots available. The following Teleconferences are FREE Are you serious about attaining your goals next year? Do you want to do more than make a New Year's Resolution that you forget by the time the Super Bowl is on television? Join me on the free teleconference to learn my time-tested 7-Step process for Goal Attainment. We will do more than set goals--we will discuss a system to implement that will expoentially increase your opportuniy for success. Also, my Goal Attainment System is multi-faceted. You won't just be focusing your attention on your career goals unless you want to. My system has you take a look at all areas of your life so you can accomplish an optimal work/life balance for yourself. There is nothing to lose but an hour of your time and so much to gain. Let's make 2007 your best year yet! De-escalation Skills (Anger Management ) Have you ever been involved in a situation with an angry person where you felt defeated? Either you escalate to their level of aggression or you allowed yourself to get lambasted and felt battered in the end? Either way, you lost by allowing the angry person to dictate your responses and control your effectiveness. Come learn some easy techniques to work with an angry individual to take their level of volitility down to a manageable level so you can intellectually process the problem with them. Empowered Leadership How would you like your leaders to be more effective? How would you like to create a work environment that is empowering to your employees? Register for this call and learn the skills necessary to create an empowered workforce for both management and your employees. Choice Theory & Reality Therapy This class will preview the revolutionary work of one of the greatest thinkers of our time, Dr. William Glasser. During the call, you will learn the basic tenants and concepts of Choice Theory, an explanation of human behavior; Reality Therapy, a process of self-reflection that encourages problem solution and self-growth; Lead Management, a democratic style of leadership that is not only effective in managing workers, but is also effective with the management of students in the classroom and for agencies working with non-voluntary clients; and Quality Schools, a new way of teaching and managing the classroom environment that creates trust, quality relationships, and improved test scores. Sign up today. Celebrate Diversity Do you maintain a diverse workforce in your place of business? Do you celebrate diversity? Would you like to learn how to create a diverse workplace that embraces diversity? Register for this call and learn how creating a diverse workforce in your place of business can increase your bottom line and create a more pleasant work environment for you, your co-workers and your employees. |
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Chat Room All Chats are from 7:30 - 8:30 p.m. EST
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“Trust yourself. Create the kind of self that you will be happy to live with all your life. Make the most of yourself by fanning the tiny, inner sparks of possibility into flames of achievement.” --Golda Meir “You may be deceived if you trust too much, but you will live in -- Frank Crane In researching quotes about trust, I found an abundance of them that cautioned people to be discerning with their trust. To my way of thinking, this is an outside-in approach to trust. The first step in trust is developing trust in yourself. You must be solid in what you know to be true and then you will have to rely less on others and more on your own instincts. The second quote by Frank Crane tells us that there are risks involved in trusting. Yes, you can be deceived. You can only be hurt if you allow yourself to be. People can fool you or trick you but when you have that solid foundation in trusting yourself, you know you are being the person you want to be and the other person is the one who should feel bad, not you. Finally, if you are involved in a situation where trust has been broken, then seek out the offender and attempt to gain an understanding of his or her side of the story. It is possible the situation is not as it appears on the surface. Do what you can to repair the relationship and regain trust. However, know that you can't MAKE someone become trustworthy. All you can do is set the expectation--it is up to the other person what he or she does with your attempts to correct the situation. If you are a subscriber to Inside Out-Personal Edition, then know that trust in relationships is the subject of our next issue. If you are not a subscriber but would like to receive a copy, then you can sign up at www.therelationshipcenter.biz. |
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How Full is Your Bucket? Positive Strategies for Work and Life This book emphasizes the importance of positive feedback in people's lives. In our interactions with others, we have the ability to either add to a person's bucket or dip something out of it. It is always better to add to the bucket. The authors emphasize how important it is to learn about how people like to be appreciated. There is not a one-size fits all mentality to bucket filling. One person may like to be praised publicly, another might like a little note and yet another may prefer some quality time spent. There are numerous ways to add to someone's bucket. The application for bucket filling is not simply limited to our work environment either. We can focus on bucket filling for our family members and friends, as well. Appreciation goes a long way. I know when I started my business, I hired my administrative assistant at far less than she was worth. She hung in there with me during the lean times and never complained about her salary. One of the things she often told me is that she liked being appreciated by me. Research has shown that simple appreciation is a big factor in employee retention. People tend to leave jobs where they feel unappreciated and may even stay in underpaid jobs as long as they know their contributions are valued. Fill someone's bucket today and every day and watch the benefits grow. Click here to order this book |
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If you are a supervisor with a unit that is not functioning properly because of a lack of trust, I believe it is important to get someone into your department from the outside to assess the situation. First of all, you could chose to ignore the problem but sticking your proverbial head in the sand will not solve the problem. In fact, I believe a trust issue gone bad will not improve of its own accord. As the supervisor, you can attempt to intervene and may be successful in correcting the situation, however, many times, deserved or not, the supervisor may be viewed as part of the problem. If that is the case, you will not get honest and accurate feedback from your staff concerning the problem or its solution. Bringing someone in from the outside shows people that you are serious about correcting the problem. You are willing to take yourself out of the equation and ask for consultation from someone who will be objective and who can obtain less biased information from your staff. If you decide to implement this plan, do everything within your power to ensure the confidentiality of your staff's input. They must feel safe enough to share openly what is going on so an effective solution can be developed. If they fear their feedback will be compromised, your consultant will not have useful information with which to work. |
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Question: What if I attempt to fix a situation where trust has eroded and the other person does not want to make any changes? When you make the best attempt possible, then you know you have done all you can do. Do not give up. Continue to try to reach out for improvement but know that the other person has to be willing to also create change in the situation. When you attempt reconciliation, it is more about your attempts than the response of the other person. Feel good about your efforts, knowing you can't control the outcome. |
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