Inside Out
Business Edition
"You can't change the direction of the wind. . .
but you can adjust your sails!"
--Jimmy Dean

Kim Olver, MS, NCC, LPC

www.Coachingforexcellence.biz
Kim@Coachingforexcellence.biz

To read our blog click here or go to www.coachingforexcellence.biz and click on "Blog" on the left hand navigation bar. Read some of Kim's musings and add some of your own!

A Message from Kim

Hi Everyone,

I really wasn't sure what I was going to write about this month until today. I was thinking something about the economy but it seems like the Internet is flooded with how to survive in tough economic times. I didn't want to add to already overflowing conversation.

Then yesterday, two things happened. First I got an email of a cartoon that was supposedly in the NY Post. It depicted two policemen with a smoking shot gun that had just killed a monkey. The caption read, "They'll have to find someone else to write the next stimulus bill"! Can you believe that?

Then I was reading an article on the Internet about White Privilege and was really shocked by some of the radical comments posted in response. I was so appalled, I was moved to leave my own comment. You can see the article and corresponding comments at http://www.lacrossetribune.com/articles/2009/02/15/news/z02diversity0215.txt.

It was then I knew I had to write about diversity. Things are better in so many ways and yet, we still have a long was to go to create equality. Are you doing your part? What more could you do?

Make today the day you want it to be!
Unleash the power within you.

In This Issue

Feature Article
African-American History Month and White Privilege
Kim Olver

Upcoming Events

Quote of the Month
"There are seldom, if ever, any hopeless situations..."--Zig Ziglar

Book Review
From the Streets to the Stage
by Lamont Brown

Tip of the Month

Business Q&A

Products & Services

About Kim Olver

African-American History Month and White Privilege
by Kim Olver

As I am sure you are aware, February is African-American History Month in the United States. This is the time of year when most schools will present some program to their students discussing Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. and maybe Rosa Parks. However, there are many unsung heroes of the Civil Rights Movement and many contributions made by Blacks historically, that impact our society today.

Often, the majority culture doesn't really understand why it is so important that minorities receive special recognition. As a white female myself, it is difficult for me to understand and perhaps even harder to explain but I think it's important so I want to give it my best shot.

When people of the majority culture look for examples of success, it is easy to find other members of the majority culture dominating that area. Up until recently, every one of our American presidents was Caucasian. The House of Representative and Senate are dominated by Whites. This has the political power resting with the majority culture. When you look at successful business owners and head of companies, many are Caucasian.

Now, I am not taking away from the hard work, sacrifice and dedication of the majority culture. I am simply saying that it is more difficult for young African-Americans to find examples of successful people who look like them who aren't rappers or athletes.

I was at a dinner party recently with about 10 couples who are personal friends of mine. An African-American friend accompanied me and he was the only person of color at the table. Within each couple, at least one of them was a business owner, including myself and my friend. When he gets together with other African-Americans, that isn't as common an experience.

He later asked me how many of those couples know someone close to them who either has substance abuse issues or a family member who had gone to jail. Admittedly, there were two of 20 people there who had a close family member or friend with substance abuse issues and no one who had family who had been in jail. He shared that many of the people he knows who resemble him have friends or family members who have experienced incarceration and/or substance abuse issues.

It is well documented that there is a disproportionate amount of Blacks incarcerated. A Caucasian and an African-American who commit similar crimes often receive different sentences. The Caucasian may get probation, while the African-American may do jail time.

That is why it is so important for African-Americans to learn about their history--to become familiar with successful people who look like they do. The majority culture has things immediately available to them that African-Americans do not.

If I want to trace my family roots back generations, I can do that. My friend who is Black can only go back two generations to his grandparents. This is a part of white privilege. It isn't something Whites ask for; it is simply inherent in our system.

I often hear many Caucasians say things are better now. There isn’t any racism anymore. Look, the president of the United States is Black. The truth is Barack Obama looks Black, he is married to a Black woman and he was born to a White woman and raised by his White grandparents.

Are things really better in this country? Yes and No. I believe there are many Caucasians who support equality. They are not consciously racist and the very thought of treating someone differently based on their skin color is abhorrent to them.

On the other hand, because there are many places still in the United States that are segregated by choice, many times the majority culture does not have day-to-day interactions with people of color. They may work together but go home to separate environments and cultures. When this separation exits, it is common to develop a discomfort around people who are different simply because of a lack of exposure. Often this discomfort can be perceived by the minority culture as evidence of racism.

Another issue that still exists is the formal and informal systems in the United States are inherently racist. This doesn’t mean that the individuals that comprise the system support racism. It simply means that we are implicit partners based on the privilege most of us don’t even know we have.

In order for this trend to be equalized, the majority culture must begin to see how privilege asserts itself in the systems currently in place and do whatever it can to correct the inequities. Minority culture can help by first realizing many individuals want to make things different and then being willing to share their experiences to help educate the majority culture to what it is like being a member of the existing systems.

Working together in a spirit of acceptance, inclusion and cooperation will create the changes we are seeking as the only race—the human race.

Copyright © February 2009 Kim Olver. All rights reserved.

Kim Olver, MS, NCC, LPC is public speaker, trainer, author and consultant. She has done diversity consulation with social service agencies, educational institutions, corporations and the MBA. She delivered the keynote address on diversity for a US military conference. For more information about diversity check out her book, Leveraging Diversity at Work.

NOTICE: This article is free and can be copied and reproduced
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*Click Here to read some of Kim's other articles*

Upcoming Events

Teleconferences
(Times in EST)

All teleconferences are free, one (1) hour in length and all you need is a telephone. When you register we will send you a phone number that you will call five minutes prior to the start of your teleconference. You will have the opportunity to ask questions, but if you prefer to just listen that’s all right too. You do not need a computer or Internet, only a telephone. Don’t delay. There are a limited number of slots available.

Inside Out Empowerment Mastermind Group
Second Tuesday of Every Month
Next Teleconference: March 10, 2009

The Inside Out Empowerment Mastermind Group is not a typical teleconference. This is an actual mastermind group. Members participate equally -- both giving to others and receiving suggestions for their own challenges and opportunities. Click on the link to learn more about IOE and how it can help you to open your heart, free your mind and transform your life.

Goal Setting & Attainment: Set Your World on Fire!
Offered at two times on two different dates for your convenience:

March 30, 2009 --8:00 - 9:00 p.m. EST
March 30 , 2009 -- 1:30 - 2:30 p.m. EST

Are you serious about attaining your goals next year? Do you want to do more than make a New Year's Resolution that you forget by the time the Super Bowl is on television? Join me on the free teleconference to learn my time-tested 7-Step process for Goal Attainment. We will do more than set goals--we will discuss a system that will exponentially increase your opportunity for success. Also, my Goal Attainment System is multi-faceted. You won't just be focusing your attention on your career goals unless you want to. My system has you take a look at all areas of your life so you can accomplish optimal work/life balance. There is nothing to lose but an hour of your time and so much to gain. Let's make this your best year yet!

Workshops

Introduction to Choice Theory

April 6, 2009
Chicago, IL-- Prairie State College—Matteson Center
8:30 a.m. - 4:30 p.m. CT
$69.00

Choice Theory® takes the mystery out of behavior—yours and theirs. It provides an explanation for why we do the things we do. Choice Theory ® explains how a person’s perceptions shape their reality and teaches the four components of behavior. Armed with this new knowledge, problem conceptualization becomes much easier and the path to taking effective action is clearer.  

One of the things I like best about Choice Theory® is its wide-spread application—you can use it in your personal, as well as your professional life. It provides transferable skills for everyday life. Choice Theory® helped me to become a better counselor, supervisor, educator, mother, life partner, friend and a better all around person. When you truly embrace its teachings, Choice Theory® becomes a way of life instead of a hypothetical theory of human behavior.

Goal Attainment

April 8, 2009
6:30 p.m. . - 9:30 p.m. CT
Chicago, IL-- Prairie State College—Matteson Center

Every year millions of people make their “New Year’s Resolutions” and every year many of those same people make the same resolution again. Are you one of those people? Do you know why you are not achieving your goals year after year? I know you start out the year strong and determined that this will be the year you will lose weight, go back to school, buy a home, look for a new job, complete that project etc… and you suddenly find another year has gone by and your list is not only the same, but it has gotten longer! You have new goals to achieve. That is why it is so important to work on your goals now!

You are constantly learning and growing and there will always be a new goal you want to achieve. You can attain your goals year after year with a effective, time-tested system—a plan with built in support and accountability. Attaining your goals requires hard work and determination. You need to plan and make time to work on your goals. They will not just happen. My Goal Attainment Workshop will give you the strategies you need to make a plan, manage your time while still maintaining a positive attitude and staying motivated until you complete your goals.

Quote of the Week

"There are seldom, if ever, any hopeless situations, but there are many people
who lose hope in the face of some situations."

--Zig Ziglar

This quote needs little explanation. Deepak Chopra says over 90% of the obstacles we encounter are only perceived obstacles. This means that if you could see them clearly, you would realize there are ways to overcome the obstacle so it isn't really an obstacle at all. If what Zig Ziglar says is true, and I believe it is, our job as helpful people is to encourage those we encounter. Help them elevate to a position where they can regain hope and see possible solutions where earlier they couldn't. When you encounter someone who has lost hope, provide them with honest, heart-felt encouragement. Then observe what that does for you.

Book Review

From the Streets to the Stage
by Lamont Brown

This book is special to me because it was written by a personal friend of mine who I greatly admire. Mr. Brown started out his life making choices that didn't empower him or lead down the path of success. He shares some of his life with you and tells you how he got turned around.

He has two pages dedicated to each letter of the alphabet. On one page are four empowering quotes beginning with that letter and on the second page are four words beginning with that letter asking the reader to define each one.

This book has been used in schools, particular in disadvantaged neighborhoods to help children build the skills they will need for overcoming challenges and being successful.

I recommend this book, particularly for youngsters who need some help to look beyond their current circumstances to realize their dreams.

Click here to purchase this book

Tip of the Month

When working with someone who needs encouragement, practice the Three P's--passion, purpose and plan.

First find out what the person really has passion for. What floats their boat? What gets them excited about getting out of bed in the morning? If there is nothing, then mine the past for things that use to excite them. If you have to go all the way back to childhood, so be it. Find something for which there is passion.

Once you know some things that excite the person, see if you can explore what they believe their purpose is. We are all living in this world for some purpose that fulfills our destiny and somehow serves humankind. Help the person uncover their purpose.

Once you have the passion and purpose identified, it's time to make a plan to move in the desired direction. Even if the goal is huge, and it should be, make a plan to do one small thing each day that will move a person in the direction of their purpose.

Business Q&A

Question: Don't you just think Black people are oversensitive? They are always seeing racism, even where it doesn't exist?

Answer:  My answer to this question is complicated and it all comes down to perception. I teach Dr. William Glasser's Choice Theory, which is an explanation of human behavior. Dr. Glasser tells us that our perception is our reality and that perception varies, is relative and is based on several things.

First of all, a person can't perceive what he/she doesn't attend to. There is a concept in diversity management called microinequities. These are the subtle things people do in human relations that are very covert, sometimes even unconscious to the person displaying them. For example, one microinequity was demonstrated decades ago in school research when it was found teachers call on boys in class more than girls. In the workplace, microinequities might be an eyeroll, exclusion from a conversation, not commenting on something said by someone. If you aren't paying attention to something, it is impossible to perceive it.

Secondly, we can't make sense of things we don't understand. Part of our perceptual system is based on the knowledge we've accumulated. People of different cultures are exposed to different information. I know as a child I was told, "You can be anything you want to be as long as you put your mind to it." My friend, raised in a different culture, was told, "You don't get what you deserve, you get what you negotiate." These are completely different sets of information that will affect the perception of the person involved.

Thirdly, all of our perception is run through the lens of the values we've developed throughout our lives. I remember a situation with my oldest son where he had an ethical decision to make at 8 years old. He had to decide whether to be honest or to protect his uncle. He chose the former. I was very proud of him as honesty is one of my highest values. My husband, on the other hand, was angry because family loyalty took precidence for him.

I also remember a few years ago when Ice Cube produced a show called Black/White. He took a Black family and made them up to appear White and a White family he made up to look Black. The two men went shopping together at a high end mall. Remember, the black man was looking White and the White man was looking Black. The Caucasian female store clerk was being quite attentive to them. The Black man was certain that was because she thought the White guy who was looking Black was possibly a thief. The White man was certain it was because she was doing her job and giving them good customer service.

Which one of them was right? They were both right given where they come from and the perceptions they have. Had the White man had the experience of being treated as a Black man in this country his whole life, he may have perceived things differently. But being White, he couldn't see what the Black man saw because it was out of the rhelm of his reality. I hope that answers your question but if not, please continue to dialog with me about it.

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